Emotional Freedom: What Other People Think of You is None of Your Business

Emotional FreedomWhen I first began my journey toward healing and emotional freedom, I was working with a trusted therapist who one day blurted out, “Noelle, what other people think of you is none of your business.”  She must have been tired of my obsession about the impression I made on people.  Truth be told, I was ticked off by her comment.  It was crazy to me.  I had spent a lifetime trying to be a “good example” and monitoring what people thought of me to make sure I was living right.  It was a good day if people were happy with me and it was a very bad day if they weren’t.  To have her say this thing when I had basically built my life doing things a different way irritated me.  Of course I was a good image manager and I couldn’t have her thinking I was upset at her, so I hid my reaction and silently chewed on that statement for years.

I have since come to wholeheartedly agree with her.  I could give you a lot of clinical background on this (differentiation, fusion, etc.), but generally what is more impacting is personal experience so I’ll share some of mine.  I won’t say that I don’t care at all what people think.  If someone feels I have wronged them or that I have been dishonest in some way, I care very much about that and I would go to great lengths to sort through that with them.

But here’s the thing, when you are able to detach from what other people think of you, you’re emotionally free.  They are entitled to their opinions and you might even choose to listen to them, but you do not have to be controlled by them.  You can make decisions based on your internal values and Spiritual connection.

Some of you may think I’m crazy to say this.  So here is the challenge…try it for one week.  When you get some feedback, evaluate it, chew on it, but let go of their opinion.  Don’t compare yourself to anyone.  When you wonder if someone took something you said wrong, evaluate it for yourself, talk to God about it and if you were in the wrong, tell them and apologize.  If not, let it go.  Leave a comment about it in the comments section below and we will pick a comment/testimony and offer a prize.  I have no idea what that prize will be because I just had the idea, but I promise, it will be a good one. (Also, there are not yet a million people reading this blog.  We offered a $100.00 prize for a previous contest and didn’t have any entries!  So, if you do this and comment the chances are very good you’ll get a nice little surprise.)

Here’s to emotional freedom!  We can’t wait to hear about your experiences.  Woohoo!

Contest Winners!

We are pleased to announce that the String of Pearls video was chosen as one of the 5 winning videos!  This was an exciting maiden voyage for the String of Pearls team and we are looking forward to adding more vlogs as time goes on.

As you might recall, this means that one of you who commented and supported us on You Tube will be the winner of the prize we won.  We have been notified by Jonathan Budd’s Futuristic Marketing team, that our prize is on its way and we look forward to passing it on to our winner!

So without further ado….here is the winning coFinancial Freedommment from Ms. Angie Bartolo!

“Wow Noelle! As always you inspire me!! Because of that I’ve been doing alot of thinking about what I am passionate about and reaching for it! The video gives us all courage to step up and do something that WE want to do for ourselves!! As women we are so accustomed to putting others first, it is very liberating to actually contemplate…what DO I want!! Very exciting and very empowering! Thank you for taking that big leap and giving the rest of us the courage to go with you!!”

We picked this comment because a big part of our SOP passion is helping women to dream and define what they long for and then go for it.  Our best gifts for the world are found in what we are passionate about, what we were especially designed for.  If we don’t find it, if we don’t pursue it, the world misses out!

This was brought home to me during the Futuristic Marketing competition this past week.  Jonathan Budd and Mark Hoverson have put together a product that left me misty eyed.  Many of you know about our journey to learn internet marketing that launched with trying to figure out what a blog was!  This product has put the technology we needed together with the training we needed in a sleek product that walks us step by step through everything we need to know.  I have been praying for something to help put the pieces I’m learning into a big picture.  This program is an answer to prayer.

During the webinars this week, Jonathan and Mark talked about the times where they met failure after failure and wanted to give up.  I am so profoundly grateful they didn’t.  I needed them to follow through, to help me in this moment, in this time in my life.  So Angie, we are so grateful for your comment and your support of the blog and we’ll look forward to hearing where this journey takes you!

If you missed the video and would like to see it, click here

What about you?  What is the dream you have that the world is waiting for?

Contest Update

Hello Everyone.  I want to take a minute to formally thank all of you who supported us in the Futuristic Marketing Contest.  I also want to give you a brief update on what happened.  Some of it I find myself a little (or a lot) embarrassed to admit, but one of the things we believe in very strongly is authenticity and we figure our blog community will feel better about their growing experiences if we honor our own.

The day I recorded the video started out very well.  I was grounded and centered.  I knew I tend to look awkward on camera because I generally feel pretty stupid talking to an inanimate object in a room by myself.  So I took a hint from Creflo Dollar who began his ministry by preaching to an empty room when nobody showed up for his first meeting.  He said he decided he was going to “preach to the angels.”  So I asked if God would fill the room with angels for me to talk to.  It worked.  When I looked at the video I felt as if it looked like I was really talking to someone. :)

With a few technical difficulties I was able to download the footage to my computer and begin editing it.  I was still calm and in good spirits.  Then I uploaded it to YouTube and began to email, blog, and call friends to let them know that if they’d leave a comment we could win an iPad.  After that I began to turn into a raving lunatic.  I was obsessive, frantic, anxious, and preoccupied.  I hated it and remembered why I don’t like to play games. This went on late into the night on Thursday.

I used to be a workaholic.  In all honesty I still struggle with the concept of “play.”  My dad used to say I came out of the womb 30 years old.  Most of the memories through my early adulthood have a tinge of anxiety, stress, and tension.  I was driven and I was a perfectionist.  It was a set-up for depression and fear.Contest

After uploading the video, I began to feel like I did before God got his hands on me.  I have a highly intuitive friend who told me the day after the contest that she sensed desperation and chaos in my communications.  For example, I sent out group texts (which I have never done before) and there were a few horrified text messages from people who didn’t remember who I am.  One girl had no idea who I was even after I explained and asked me to delete her number.  Not great for the ego.  I believe it was the first time someone saw me as a stalker…well maybe Stephen Thurmond in the 7th grade…but we’re not going to talk about that!

The morning after posting the video I was in tears and God and I had some words.  I asked him why he had led me to make the video when I was going to make a fool of myself with stalker text messages and well, turn into a lunatic.  I told him I knew he was asking me to start doing videos regularly but that I could not do them the way I had done the first one. What Anne Lamott calls, “bad mind” kicked in and I would not have spoken aloud the things I was saying to myself.  I didn’t feel like I heard directly from God, but I felt better after a good cry. (As a little bonus, research is showing that there are actually toxins in our tears.  When your grandmother told you tears were cleansing she wasn’t lying.)  I talked to a friend and prayed with her and went about what turned out to be a delightful day.

When I got home I had an email from Jonathan Budd announcing the next training video and you guessed it, another contest.  I laughed and thought “*&^%&  NO!”  I did however watch the training video and at the end against all my determination, the contest intrigued me.  The question asked, what would you do with an extra 2 hours on non work-related time each day?  I sat and thought about what I would do and began to envision funny scenes to demonstrate it.  I noticed that inside I felt…playful.

We did not win the first video contest and I am disappointed mostly because it would have delighted me to give the iPad to one of you who supported us with comments.  I am grateful for the lessons learned and consider it an invaluable experience.

I do, however, feel peace about getting “back on the horse” immediately and have decided with a little prodding from God, that I am going to film a video for the second round of the contest.  I am going to have fun, stay grounded, notify people but not badger them, and see what happens.  You can look for the new video tomorrow night if all goes as planned.  Thanks again everyone for your support and acceptance.

So what about you?  What would you do with an extra 2 hours of non work-related time in your day? Leave us a comment to share and look for the video tomorrow to see my answer!

 

Emotional Freedom: Another Contest

This week I continued my internet marketing training by watching a short film and taking a 3 minute quiz at www.futuristicmarketing.com.  At the end of the film Jonathan Budd asks interested parties to submit a video for the chance to win an iPad as well as an invitation to a exclusive gathering of some of the top internet marketers in the country.  I have been praying for some good mentors and I WANT TO GO!!!

During this process, I have noticed that it takes a good bit of emotional freedom to participate in a contest.  It was nerve wracking! But to give the best chance of exposure, this week we are combining it with our blog to support you and give you the chance to win the iPad as well as gain some great knowledge to move you toward financial freedom.

You’ll be thrilled to know (or not!) it involves another YouTube video!  This time I am dressed nicely and I only jump around like a doofus for the last 20 seconds or so.

So, to help us win the contest, and thus increase your chances to win an iPad, yes, you heard it right.  A new iPad!  Here’s what you do:

  • Click here and watch the film.
  • Leave a comment directly under the video on YouTube about what you like about the video and why you should get the iPad.
  • Click “Like” on the Like button directly under the video on YouTube as well.
  • And send this blog to everyone you know!  Tweet it, post it on your FB page. The name of this game is exposure. By submitting to this contest we hope to expand the people who enjoy the blog and offer our prize to one of you.

Physical Freedom: Vlog 1 and Contest!

A few weeks ago I mentioned feeling led to begin doing video blogs or as I’ve recently learned, vlogs.  I mentioned that I don’t like being on camera and that I tend to freeze up. I’m not exactly physically free on camera.  I also mentioned that when I posted my first vlog I would appreciate affirmative feedback given the fact that it might look a little stiff.

One of our most popular blogs to date was called Four Praise Songs.  In it I talked about a form of exercise that had actually been working for me. There was comparison to a dying cow, but in general, a connection to physical freedom.  While I thought about the topic of the first vlog I thought it might be a good idea to demonstrate not just talking about freedom like I did in Four Praise Songs, but demonstrating a little freedom.  Even if I look awkward initially!

I also began to think about our brand.  A major part of our brand is to be real.  Authentic.  We want women to have an upfront view of how we have gained freedom in our lives and the areas where we still struggle.  We also don’t want it to be something we just talk or write about.  It seemed that the best way to demonstrate freedom of any kind would be to get up and do it.

So, the first vlog is not what I initially planned.  I’m not dressed in my best.  There is no formal background, but just my mostly clean living room.  The video is not edited perfectly and half the time you can’t see my face.  We left in the foibles because we want you to know that foibles are welcome.  We won’t do this journey perfectly, but in the foibles lie our physical freedom and every other type of freedom we hope for.  You will see the improvement as we learn, but being a mess and still managing to smile, show up, and dance is a moment of freedom that gets hold of your heart and changes things.

Vlog 1

The video is far from perfect, but it is authentic.  My heart is demonstrated and I enjoyed every second of the process.  So without further ado, please click the link above, to see the first String of Pearls vlog!

Physical Freedom

Contest

In honor of our first vlog (Seriously, there is a part of me that still can’t believe this technophobe figured out how to record and upload a video!) The String of Pearls team wanted to add a little contest.  We are offering $100.00 to the best vlog demonstrating any sort of physical, spiritual, emotional, or financial freedom.  Please keep your admissions to 5 minutes or less and be prepared for the winning entry to be highlighted on the blog. Strut your freedom ladies!  Contest admissions must be submitted by midnight July 30, 2012.  If you have never done this before, please feel free to contact me for coaching.  It is much easier than you might think! (noelle@stringofpearls3.com)

Our Contest Winner!

Hello Everyone!  As promised, we are giving you some information about our contest winner as well as excerpts from an interview in which we talked about her experience at Guerilla Business School.

Our winner was Julie Cole and she is a newlywed and nurse on the mother/baby unit of her hospital.  Julie entered the contest because she realized that while she loves certain aspects of nursing, she does not love what working nights has done to her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  There has been a part of her that knows she was made for something more, although she has not been sure yet what that is!

Julie and I during a negotiation exercise at GBS.  We were negotiating for a ride in the ambulance, but the paramedics didn’t want to be suspended without pay, even for us, so we compromised on a picture in the cab!  Such fun!

While at the conference Julie did a lot of soul searching about what she’s passionate about.  She was able to gain some clarity on it and realized that she is passionate about women’s health and wellness.  Part of this awareness has been about learning to take care of herself in spite of her strange work hours and how incredible she started to feel once she took up a regular exercise regime.  She also has a heart for new mother’s who go through so many changes once they bring their little one’s home.

When asked what part of the conference impacted her the most, Julie shared that initially, it was a little hard to be in a room with 500 business owners when she does not have one yet, but she realized early on that she could apply all the concepts to her personal life.  So when the presenter said that our businesses are a reflection of us, she realized that she wants to have an incredible business someday and that meant that she would be investing in herself now; to learn, to grow, and to be incredible!

Julie and I had breakfast this morning to follow up on the conference and I think for me at least, this is when the reason for the contest became really clear.

A little background first; many of you know that the contest came up pretty fast and the deadline was tight.  It was a last minute decision on our part but it was such a great opportunity we decided to run with it even though we weren’t able to offer as much prep time as we would have liked.

Due to the tight deadline we did not have many applicants, but the applicants we did have were all known to us, and so it was especially hard to pick.  Without going into all the specifics, we felt Spiritually guided that Julie was our winner.  I think there were moments that Julie questioned that because she is not currently in business for herself.  But it was clear.

So now flash forward to this morning over oatmeal at Panera; Julie was sharing about what has been going on since we returned from the conference.  Two different organizations that she loves have sought her out and she has had interviews this week.  These are not options for FT work and it doesn’t mean that we are announcing she’s a millionaire after attending the conference with us, (If you know an “overnight millionaire” I guarantee you there was a lot of discipline and little steps taken prior to the big payday.) but what it does mean is that as she has opened herself up to pursuing her goals and hopes, other opportunities are coming her way in areas that she is passionate about.

This is how God works!  As a mentor said to me once when I was struggling in a job I didn’t want, “It seems clear to me that God made you a square peg and He is not going to keep you in a round hole.”

So what areas are you a square peg in a round hole?  What are the things you’d like to change or move into?  Tell us about them in the comments section.  And be sure to say hi and congratulations to Julie! We’ll look forward to seeing the changes with you!

Contest with $2800.00 Prize! Deadline Approaching!

I wonder how many of you have had an interest in business and wondered how to get more knowledge without paying 40K for a MBA?  The String of Pearls team is bringing you a contest for one of you to get just that.  This is a very recent decision on our part and so the deadline is tight!  We hope that you will tell friends on Facebook, Twitter, Linked in, etc. about this opportunity.  But first a few details…

The String of Pearls team is offering 1 slot for participation in Peak Potentials Guerilla Business School in Los Angeles, CA April 23-27.  This program is normally $2500.00 and it will include $300.00 toward your flight.  That brings the value up to almost $3000.00!
So what is Guerilla Business School?  This exciting and powerful program is designed to teach you guerilla business strategies for high speed success.  Whereas most people go into business to make a living, your business will be designed to create wealth and a lifetime of passive income.  All of us on the String of Pearls team have participated in Peak Potentials training with powerful results and are extremely excited to bring this opportunity to you!
Here are some things you will learn:
  • How to generate million dollar ideas every 60 seconds
  • How to make or save a fortune using negotiation tactics
  • How to start any business or division with little or no money down
  • Become a marketing genius in 6 hours flat
  • How to raise up to $10,000 to 1/2 million dollars without asking anyone to finance anything
  • How to get the best people working for you for half of what they would normally charge and be thrilled about it.
  • Win-Win sales strategies that work in the real world
  • How to set up your business for massive passive income or sell it for millions if you choose to
  • And much more!
How do you know if you qualify for this contest?  We have very loose criteria!  If you are interested in it, we want to hear from you.  Any of the following are options:
  • You have a network marketing business and you want to raise your effectiveness
  • You have no idea if you want to own your own business but you are sick of your 9-5 job.
  • You love to learn and would like to hang out with Noelle for a week
  • You feel God whispering in your ear when you read this blog
  • Other
How to Qualify:  We ask you to do some very simple steps.
  • Notice the subscription box to the right of this post.  Sign up and give us your name and email.
  • Write a page to a page and a half about what appeals to you about this training and why you want to go.  Tell us about yourself and how you found out about the contest.  (Yes, we want to hear from you about each of those questions, if you don’t answer all of them you will not qualify for the prize.)
  • Submit your application to Noelle at noelle1333@gmail.com.  Put “GBS Contest” in the subject line.
Deadline for submitting is Sunday, April 15.  We will notify the prize winner by Monday the 16th.  This will give you one week to get ready to go!
Please note that you will be responsible for food and lodging while at GBS.  Airfare and the tuition cost will be paid for by the String of Pearls team.  Also, the schedule for these programs is rigorous.  Be prepared to put in long days that will stretch you intellectually and emotionally.