When I first began my journey toward healing and emotional freedom, I was working with a trusted therapist who one day blurted out, “Noelle, what other people think of you is none of your business.” She must have been tired of my obsession about the impression I made on people. Truth be told, I was ticked off by her comment. It was crazy to me. I had spent a lifetime trying to be a “good example” and monitoring what people thought of me to make sure I was living right. It was a good day if people were happy with me and it was a very bad day if they weren’t. To have her say this thing when I had basically built my life doing things a different way irritated me. Of course I was a good image manager and I couldn’t have her thinking I was upset at her, so I hid my reaction and silently chewed on that statement for years.
I have since come to wholeheartedly agree with her. I could give you a lot of clinical background on this (differentiation, fusion, etc.), but generally what is more impacting is personal experience so I’ll share some of mine. I won’t say that I don’t care at all what people think. If someone feels I have wronged them or that I have been dishonest in some way, I care very much about that and I would go to great lengths to sort through that with them.
But here’s the thing, when you are able to detach from what other people think of you, you’re emotionally free. They are entitled to their opinions and you might even choose to listen to them, but you do not have to be controlled by them. You can make decisions based on your internal values and Spiritual connection.
Some of you may think I’m crazy to say this. So here is the challenge…try it for one week. When you get some feedback, evaluate it, chew on it, but let go of their opinion. Don’t compare yourself to anyone. When you wonder if someone took something you said wrong, evaluate it for yourself, talk to God about it and if you were in the wrong, tell them and apologize. If not, let it go. Leave a comment about it in the comments section below and we will pick a comment/testimony and offer a prize. I have no idea what that prize will be because I just had the idea, but I promise, it will be a good one. (Also, there are not yet a million people reading this blog. We offered a $100.00 prize for a previous contest and didn’t have any entries! So, if you do this and comment the chances are very good you’ll get a nice little surprise.)
Here’s to emotional freedom! We can’t wait to hear about your experiences. Woohoo!