-Noelle Schwantes, LPC-MHSP, NCC
I screwed up and today’s post is about taking ownership. The last post was marketed as “sex beyond your wildest dreams.” Some of our readers gave incredibly invaluable, and yes humbling, advice. I missed the mark with my last post. I forgot to speak to my audience. It repelled them rather than attracting them.
I’ve been mulling this over for weeks. Those of you who follow us may have realized that there has not been a post for several weeks (Angela is waiting in the wings with great posts so don’t worry, she’ll be back!). Between fighting spam and chewing on this, there has been a bit of paralysis on my part.
As God is prone to do, He will sometimes wake me in the middle of the night with something important. Tonight I felt led to re-do the post. So here is something with valuable feedback taken into account. We hope you’ll share if you feel led to compare the difference in the two posts!
I am a therapist in private practice. I have been a therapist for approximately 9 years. I see, maybe in a little more detail than others, the pain and longing that is wrapped up in longing to love and be loved and how that gets played out in the physical realm. Our sex lives. Being a survivor of sexual abuse and being in a painful first marriage that struggled mightily in this area, I brought a lot of pain and baggage into my marriage to Marcel. I didn’t even know about it. But I knew it when we had sex. I knew I felt pressured and afraid and I knew Marcel felt sad and broken hearted. My reactions didn’t make sense to me and the more I struggled to figure it out, the guiltier and more frustrated I became. Our discussions about this area became louder and louder.
And then came the phase where we wondered if this is just the way things were going to be. Let’s face it, you don’t hear a ton of married couples talk about how great their sex life is! Marcel and I decided though that we were going to stand on God’s promises. We were not going to settle for anything less than life to the full! (John 10:10) So I, therapist extraordinaire, went back to therapy. I got some objective help in seeing where my baggage held me up and during this period of time huge break throughs occurred. I am deeply happy to report that God has brought abundance in this area of our lives.
In my professional work, I’ve also seen the devastation that occurs in this area. This report, which we are supplying for free, shares clinical and personal experience of what it took to find a sex life that encompasses joy, excitement, deep connection, passion, adventure, and peace. There are not many things that can offer such a breadth of richness and so it is our hope that you read this report and it will be a part of what God uses to flourish you or prepare you to flourish in the future. We hope you enjoy fully and that God blesses it in a powerful way!