Freedom to Wait, Part 2

Noelle Schwantes, LPC-MHSP, NCC

African American Model 2

For those of you who are waiting on a life partner, I ask you this question.  You’ve probably written your list right? Good looking, healthy, good with money, working a stable job, good with computers, Spiritual…the list varies with the unique aspects of each of us.   But while we wait there aren’t many of us who haven’t day dreamed about what he will be like.

OK now I’m really going to ask the question…

On that list, are you the person you are looking for?

Let me explain.  How many of us want someone who’s good with money because money flows through our fingers like water…never to be seen again?  How many of us want someone who’s spiritual because we feel the lack in ourselves?

If you have turned your life over to God, if you’ve given him control of your life, he is likely putting you in a waiting period so you don’t ruin a good thing when it comes to you.  Do not ever doubt that if you really want a man in your life, you could have one tomorrow.  I’m not kidding.  Lower your standards and you will find men coming out of the woodwork.  If you have committed your life to God and are fully surrendered to Him, He says, “I’m not just going to give you any man, I’m going to give you far beyond what you could ask or imagine.  In the meantime, I want you to grow and be the wife that this man is praying for.”  If the answer to my question is that you are far from who you want to be, my encouragement would be to start to actively “delight yourself in the Lord.” and enjoy the ride while he gets the desires of your heart ready.

You may be thinking that you really are somebody you would like to be with already, God may be waiting on your partner to get his act together in which case some heavy duty intercessory prayer is in order.

Now one of the questions that came in was someone wondering if God means for them to be single.  Paul does talk about some of us being called to be single.  But I also know that God promises to give us the desires of our heart if we delight in him.  And if you delight in God and still desire a mate, my thoughts would be that there will be a mate for you someday.

Here is something important though, when we truly delight in God, we will get to a place where He is enough.  This happened in my own heart (and there are truly no words for how boy crazy I was my entire life) and I have seen it happen in the hearts of other single friends.  When we focus on God and seek Him the most amazing things start to happen.  Ironically, when I no longer cared, when it didn’t hurt anymore to be single because my heart was full of God, that’s when Marcel showed up and I began to experience my own “beyond all I asked or imagined.”

What do you think your future mate is praying for? Are you that woman yet?

DISCLAIMER: This in NO WAY covers all the aspects of waiting but it does cover what I know to be true this far in my journey.  Please do your own searching and feel free to send in other questions.  My baby was using me for a jungle gym during parts of the writing process so also please excuse the errors!

Freedom to Wait



African American Model 2

Noelle Schwantes, LPC-MHSP, NCC

I’m very excited about today’s post because the topic was suggested by one of our readers!  It also happens to be a topic that is very dear to my heart (while at times I hate it) because I have spent a good deal of my life doing it.  Today’s post, however, is about asking for information from our readers prior to writing the final post.

The topic was brought up in the context of waiting for a life mate.  I waited a good bit for my spouse (and he was worth the wait) but in the midst of the wait I grew tired of people’s pithy responses to my pain.  With that in mind I am very prayerful and interested in knowing what the struggles and questions are for those of you who are currently in a waiting period.

How can we support you best with this post on an often painful topic?  For those of you who prefer to ask your questions in private, please email me at and for others who wouldn’t mind some dialogue, please post your questions in the comments box below. I will plan on addressing this topic next week.

We look forward to hearing from you!