Noelle Schwantes, LPC-MHSP, NCC
I have always been a driven sort. I spend a lot of time thinking about goals for the future, promises God has spoken over my life, and when they’ll happen. Some of my earliest memories are of bossing my neighborhood friends around as a little girl. I tended to have a list of things I wanted to accomplish and I went for it. The drawback was that I always felt like I worked SO HARD. Nothing came naturally and I remember feeling tired from a very early age.
Being that I was driven though texts like these really tended to irritate me.
Since before time began, no one has ever imagined, no ear heard, no eye seen, a God like you who works for those who WAIT for him. Isaiah 64:4
God takes time to do everything right – everything. Those who WAIT around for him are the lucky ones. Isaiah 30:18
I didn’t wait well, so of course as a part of my refining, God has had us waiting lately. Those of you who follow the blog know that it has been quite a year, almost 2 years now. Marcel’s lay off while I was pregnant with Joseph, a futile job search, the bank accounts, savings, and 401k dwindling…
God told me several different ways that things would look bleak for awhile, but that I was to “stand firm.” I have wrestled with that. Part of the downtime on the blog has been not wanting to post when I was in a negative space. I absolutely believe in being able to wrestle with God, but it had become so deeply painful I wasn’t able to bring myself to make it public.
So the other day when I was walking with Joseph and reading him scriptures, those two texts pop up and it hit me in a different way than it ever has before…
I am lucky to be waiting.
The way someone is lucky to be waiting knowing that their parent is buying them the gift of their dreams, the way someone is lucky knowing that they get a new car when they turn 16, the way someone is lucky to wait for an amazing person to come into their life; and that person wasn’t ready a few years before. The way someone is lucky to be waiting for a trust fund.
The way I’m lucky because the wait qualifies me for something so good that no one has seen, heard, or imagined it. God is taking the time to make His promises to me a reality in the very best way possible.
It puts a different spin on the wait doesn’t it? The question is, do we believe Him? Do we believe that His plans for us are so good that they are worth every moment of the wait?
I thought that I was being punished or that I hadn’t been doing things right. That I had to figure it out before God would give us the next step. But He tells me, “You are lucky to be waiting. It’s going to be SO GOOD! I am taking the time to do everything just right.”
And He caps it off with this, “The kingdom of God doesn’t come by counting the days on the calendar. Nor when someone says, ‘Look here!’ or ‘There it is!’ And why? Because God’s kingdom is already among you.”
While I wait, I am living in the Father’s house with all the authority and access of a favored child. So while I wait I’ll relax, enjoy my life, and maybe recline while someone feeds me grapes. Does anyone have a fan?